Dearest Lola

How lucky I am to be your first apo- everyone gets to think I’m your favorite because I was ahead of everyone else.

 
All my life, you were there- gave me my first bath, looked after me when Mommy went on hospital duty, prepared my everyday baon and uniform to school, went with me every Saturday to my piano lesson and eventually my voice lessons, waited patiently for me when I’d take forever to choose anything I can think of buying in National Bookstore and Gift Gate, bought me merienda all the time, prepared for me merienda when I’d come home from school.

We were together when the strong earthquake hit in the 90s, you rushed to the altar to pray while the 7 yr old me was wondering why the house was shaking. 

You would buy me a a tray of Goldilocks’ brownies because you knew I loved them. You’d always ask if I wanted Coke, and you’ll buy one for me. The next day, your ref will be filled with the Coke I wanted. You always asked about my day, always showed interest in everything I had to say. Even when I was being difficult to deal with, on those times I would get irritated by your probing, you patiently listened and kept me company. You seemed to have always understood me, when everyone else would just leave me alone.

I remember the last time I saw you on your bed at home. You had fever and your legs were hurting. But as soon as I told you about my new car, and showed you my plaque from work- your face lit up, showing me that smile I have always seen whenever I have made you happy. I have never returned inside your room since. 

People think I’m your favorite just because I got a lot of your attention. But the truth is, I wasn’t your favorite. We all were.
You always told me, in our daily conversations, how proud you are of my sisters’ achievements. You would always ask about Oneil.  You would tell me about my cousins’ little successes, or how they’ve helped you or made your day brighter. You were very proud when Kaye got promoted as Chief Nurse. You would always tell me how Jimbo and Kim would help you. You were very concerned about Jerwin, while he was still looking for a job. You always talked about Sab, and how good she is in school. You always marveled at the sight of Jinky’s daughter, whenever she’d pass by the second floor. You would brag to me about France’s new tricks. Everyone was your favorite, and I knew it in my heart.

Lola, I miss you everyday. I miss hearing your voice, telling me the same stories from years and years ago, over and over again. I miss seeing you sitting on your green chair, and calling out “Lola,” as soon as I enter your big but now empty house. I miss telling you about Aiyah’s little milestones and seeing your smile and affirmation. I miss you and think of you wherever I go. 

How I wish you were still here. But I know you’re happier now, no more pain, no more loneliness. 

On your last day, I remember seeing you open your eyes looking at the light for a long time. I kept asking if you were seeing anything, but you weren’t responding. You were staring at the light for so long, I had to close your eyes and whisper, “Lola, matulog ka na.” Hours later, I see you breathe your last as soon as you heard all our voices. 

I will never forget that moment. After all those years you spent alone without Lolo, you were probably finally staring at him again, welcoming you into his arms. I know you are very happy now.

But I miss you everyday. Though I know you’ll never leave me. You will always be in the little coincidences in everyday. It’ll be like you haven’t left. Except that you’re no longer here.  

I love you so much Lola. Maraming maraming salamat sa lahat ng pagmamahal, pag-aalaga, pag-iingat sa akin, at hanggang sa aking anak. Kahit hindi ka nya nakasama ng matagal, sisiguraduhin kong hindi ka rin nya makakalimutan. 

Love, Lia

    
   

CLOSED GIVEAWAY: Si Aiyah at ang Magic ng mga Bituin book!

Thank you to all those who participated this is already closed! 😀 Already contacted those who will get a copy of my book.

*****

In celebration of Breastfeeding Month and to close my first breastfeeding month experience as a BF advocate and newbie Mom, I am giving away 10 COPIES of my first Children’s storybook!
This book is inspired by my pregnancy journey- the years of waiting and praying we did, just to have our little Aiyah (which in Arabic means “miracle”) in our lives.

To be one of the lucky readers/ followers to get this, pls let me know your answer to this question:

What is your biggest dream and why do you want to make it happen?

We will mail the book to you at no cost! Goodluck! 😀 

 

Product Review: Kali Baby Ring Sling

I had the biggest surprise of my life when for the very first time I tried the Kali ring sling- I couldn’t pacify my daughter inside it.

The first time we used it was while we were in Manaoag in Pangasinan- and Aiyah, being used to wrap baby carriers that she is, I suppose was surprised by the experience and the feel of the ring sling. Instantly, she didn’t feel comfortable and so did I. I immediately texted Chic Mom Mitz that this wasn’t for us.

Not until we tried it again.

The experience

The second timewas easier and so much better. I realized, using a ring sling was one if not the easiest, carriers to use around. What I particularly like most about the Kali ring sling is the material- not too soft and not too hard, just the right texture to keep baby safe, secure and cool in this humid weather.

The length is also just right for us, even for her Ate Jovy, who also had the chance to use it on Aiyah.

I guess my baby enjoyed the security of the ring sling and the easy navigation it gave me to loosen it up or tighten up a bit.

I loved using it around the house, and I felt my daughter enjoyed it too.

If there’s one thing though that I don’t like about it- is that it seems the lock is quite easy to loosen up even without me doing anything about it. But don’t get me wrong, it’s not as loose as you’d imagine where baby will easily fall off.

The  Review
Comfort- ⭐️⭐️⭐️

Security of the Baby- ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

Fabric- ⭐️⭐️⭐️

Design- ⭐️⭐️ (I got to try the red Kali and didn’t really like red, that’s all!)

Product Review: Moby Wrap

Even while I was pregnant, I’ve started reading and researching about babywearing. Personally, I believe in the benefits it brings- such as the close bond between the mother and baby, the feeling of security for a baby as he/ she is being held close by her mother and imitating the security inside the womb and more peaceful sleep for the infant. But truth be told, I didn’t have an easy time finding the “perfect” partner for my babywearing journey.

So when I saw this post in the Mommy Blogger Philippines’ Facebook group looking for willing moms to review the Moby wrap- I easily signed up. I really didn’t know what to expect, never heard of the Moby brand. What was consistent though was my desire to find the perfect partner for me and my baby.

The Experience

I used the Moby wrap for the very first time in Baguio, it was my reliable partner for the very first time I traveled to my favorite city with my baby in tow. 

Since the wrap was super long (not an exaggeration), I naturally needed the help of my husband in doing the “wrap.” We stood there outside the Mines View Park for about 5 minutes trying on the wrap till we got the right fit. 

When the moment came for me to put on Aiyah inside, it was a breeze! Surprisingly it was easier to put her inside the Moby wrap, unlike a more famous local brand I first tried. 

Also, while the Moby wrap was super duper long… I liked the fact that it was that long as it assured me that my baby is safely secured and tucked close to me.

  
I had a fun time going around Baguio and the Strawberry Farm with my little one inside, hands-free! 

The  Review
Comfort- ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

Security of the Baby- ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️(Locals of Baguio who are experts in babywearing even made comments that the wrap is very secure!)

Fabric- ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ (Super super soft!)

Design- ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️(I super love the Almond design, so dainty and simple!)

So have I found the perfect partner? Yes definitely. Looking forward to buy my own Moby wrap soon.

2015 Summer Reading Camp

Ready for another camping kind of day in the city, reading and listening to stories? 

On its second year this summer, DIKSYONARYOATBP, a non-proft non-stock non-government organization will stage  SUMMER READING CAMP in Manila (May 23) and Quezon City (May 30)! 

 

There will be teepees set-up for the reading camp where kids can participate in any or all of the following:

 

• READING CORNER –read all the books they want from DiksyonaryoAtbp’s mobile library

 

• ART CORNER – unleash their inner artist by engaging in art activities related to stories read to them

 

• STORYTELLING CORNER – listen as children’s stories come alive via The Storytelling Project team

 

Aside from participating in these events, parents/ children can also avail of books from National Bookstore on site, which they can donate for DiksyonaryoAtbp’s future projects or take home for themselves.

 

This event aims to rekindle and encourage a genuine love for reading in Filipino children, by spending one whole day doing reading related activities, ALL FOR FREE.

 

To register your child, please click HERE or click http://projectdiksyonaryo.com/camp-registration/.

The event is in partnership with The Storytelling Project, Pottly and Tubby, CanvasPH, National Bookstore and Mcdonalds.

For more inquiries, text us at 0917-5361783 or tweet us @diksyonaryoatbp.  

Aiyah’s smile

People say I got myself such a happy baby, and I couldn’t agree more. On the day she was born, Aiyah already managed to flash her beautiful smile the moment her dad held her in his arms. Since then, she has smiled at us in her sleep, but more often when she’s awake, and all the more when I take her photos with my phone camera. At such a very young age (even before she turned one month old), Aiyah has smiled as if she understood every little thing we said. But that smile on her face in the photo above meant the world to me last Friday, February 20, and I’ll tell you why.

I started to have bleeding nipples on my 3rd day of breastfeeding in the hospital and I thought that was just normal (they said everyone will fo thru this) although of course I knew there was also something wrong. I immediately looked it up on the internet and in my breastfeeding book and realized Aiyah wasn’t latching correctly. So I gave my breasts a break and Aiyah had to rely on my sister-in-law’s pumped breastmilk for the meantime, while I healed (but because I couldn’t imagine not breastfeeding my own daughter, I still allowed her to nurse from me once a day on those days too). After two days, my milk came in and my nipples healed, I gave Aiyah back my breasts and didn’t mind anymore if it still hurt after every feeding. Her latch improved after all, and my nipples never bled again.

But on her recent 2nd pedia visit, I was told she almost had a cleft palate. For a mom, hearing those words was like having a dagger piercing right thru my heart. How could God, after all my prayers and the faith I consistently had, give me a child with an abnormality? I researched and researched and found that her pedia was wrong. She didn’t almost have a cleft palate- instead, Aiyah’s lips are tied.

A lip tie is when a part of the lip’s frenulum are tied to the gums, in some cases, up to the point where the two front teeth will grow. Aiyah’s lip tie fell under the last case I mentioned. It’s not an abnormality, but a congenital condition that’s quite common but not always diagnosed early on. If not cut, once her teeth come in, she will have a gap in between her upper two front teeth. But of course that gap can still close as her gums will still develop in time. But only time can tell. For the meantime, we can always choose to have it corrected to save her from any discomfort growing up.

It took me quite a while to process that my daughter’s lips are tied. It found me one night last week crying while cradling her to sleep, asking God why. I prayed for a child for so long, and I did my best to give her the best nourishment while I was pregnant- what was it that I could have done wrong? What did I do wrong? And then I went on asking God why she allowed it to happen to my precious daughter, and it found me begging that things turn out fine for her later in life. I have truly become a mother, always fearful for my child, always worried, always wanting and praying for only the best for her.

Last Friday, we brought her to my Ninong who happens to be one of the country’s top ENT specialists (I now realize God probably brought him to my life for this very moment, it’s amazing how things are laid out according to His plans). He assured my weary heart there was nothing I did wrong and that it wasn’t a condition that calls for an emergency. He advised me that as long as Aiyah is able to nurse from me well (proof of this is her weight gain), I can put off having the lip tie fixed till she’s a little bit older.

Aside from her lip tie, she also had her repeat hearing test that day. Her right ear failed the first time, so we were asked to have it done again when she turns one month old. At first, she continued to fail and now it wasn’t the right ear alone but both. I again found myself crying, asking God a lot of whys. Until one audiologist suggested we let her take a more sensitive test where a gadget is placed on her forehead and in between her ears to check if she’s able to hear. My little girl passed- both ears. And it was like God whispering to me, “I told you be still and don’t fear.”

Coming home after that visit to the doctor, I waited patiently for Aiyah’s smile one more time. And after her afternoon nap, upon waking up, she was again game to pose for the camera. And she flashed that smile. And it meant the world to me. I know I will never look at her smile the same way again- because I know it’s the smile of such a strong little warrior, holding on so much, giving me so much reason to be strong as well. I know I will never look at her smile the same way again because that smile assured me how blessed I truly am to be holding this little sweetheart. My heart as a mom will never run out of fears and worries, but I know now that I will be stronger because my little baby is stronger than I thought her to be.

31 days a Mom

It’s 2:30 am and I’m staring at my beautiful miracle sleeping beside me. I can’t believe it’s already been a month since I finally saw her and held her in my arms. Amazing how time flies when you’re having so much fun- the next thing I know she’ll be running around the house and sooner or later, she won’t need Mommy anymore.

But before she grows up to be the independent, wise and strong woman I pray for her to be- I want to remember these moments, the sleepless nights, the difficult days of not knowing what to do to appease my fussy baby, and the rewarding moments she would smile back at me.

The moment you become a mother, you realize how many times you’ll find yourself in tears. Sometimes out of the tiredness that you feel, often because of your inexplicable fears, or the overwhelming joy of simply looking at your child. The first tears I shed for Aiyah fell on the day I knew I was pregnant with her, and then followed the days I felt so blessed for her miracle, and many more followed suit. Of course I cried when I heard her cry when she finally arrived. It happened as if on cue, as soon as she belt out her first cry, Mommy’s tears fell down even though she hasn’t even seen her little love.

The last 31 days I’ve truly been a mother in every sense of the word, I’ve lost count how many times I’ve already cried. It hasn’t been easy. The first week was the hardest- I had to endure post partum depression bouts, struggled to survive breastfeeding and tried so hard to adjust to my baby’s own body clock. My friends and everybody else who told me to bank on sleep while I’m still pregnant were right- that sleep is such luxury when you’re already a mother. These days, I can’t even remember how many hours of sleep I get. My breasts have been wounded and even bled in my great desire to nourish my own child, and I have cried myself many times, in deep frustration for not being able to provide her the food she needs.

But the last 31 days have also been rewarding and happy. Thankfully now, by the grace of God, we have so far been succeeding in our breastfeeding journey. One month later, Aiyah is already 2 pounds heavier, healthier. Today, my little joys come in the form of every ounce of weight she gains which is like a feather in my cap, a motivation and a push to try harder at what we do, an assurance that I’m doing something right for my little one. My little joy comes in the form of seeing her calm down as soon as she heard me sing/ hum to her the songs I used to sing to her when she was still inside of me. My little joy now comes in the form of her unknowing smiles back at me after a stressful sleepless night. My little joy also comes in the form of putting her successfully to sleep, a sleep lasting for a good hour at the least. My little joy now comes in the form of watching over her or knowing what to do when she cries at night. My little joy now comes in the form of her short coos, her beautiful eyes. She has literally taken over my body and my life- and I wouldn’t want it any other way.

According to an anonymous poem I read, these are the days of endless burping, diaper changes, feeding and sleeping for Mommy and baby. And every single day will be just about the same for some time while she’s small. Every single day, I have to try to understand what Aiyah needs and respond to that need. Every single day, I have to learn to be patient when we both can’t agree on what she wants. And everyday I have to struggle to fight the limitations of my physical self, the tiredness I feel and the sleepiness that can’t keep me awake when she needs me the most. Everyday, I have to put on the role of a super Mom even though I know I’m not. Because everyday, God’s miracle is banking on me and is looking up to me.

The journey of the last 31 days hasn’t been easy. And the journey of the upcoming 3,000 and more days will neither get easier. But I know, I just know as I know it now, that the journey will be well worth it. And I will always look back at these difficult yet rewarding days, and remember the little girl holding on so much to me for everything, because someday soon enough, she won’t be needing Mommy anymore. For now, I will revel in the difficult days knowing I may be all that she needs, and there is no way I can fail her.

7 Comments You Don’t Tell Someone who’s Pregnant

A lot of things have been said about my pregnancy from the start of this journey – from well wishes of congratulations, to the insensitive comments as pregnancy symptoms begin to show, to messages of anticipation for a bundle of joy which the world seems so eager to share with every pregnant woman.

Before I pop, I would like to write down the comments I’ve heard which I believe you SHOULD NOT or REFRAIN from telling your pregnant daughter, wife, sister, aunt, cousin, officemate, friend or stranger.

1. Ang taba mo.  Of course, every pregnant woman (at least) looks a bit over the top of her normal physique. I’ll never forget that one instance when I was already 6 months pregnant (take note, around this time I was already about 20 pounds heavier with a bulging baby bump) when a colleague blurted out upon seeing me, “Buntis ka pala?!” To which I replied, “Oo naman. Anong akala mo sa akin nagpapataba lang ng ganito kalaki?”

First of all, to tell someone he/ she is fat not only impolite, it is also insulting for an already sensitive pregnant woman. It’s not like we ate a whole watermelon one day and decided to be fat. At least, the bump is a miracle- for we are carrying another human being inside.

2. Ang laki ng ilong mo.  Personally, I don’t take offense to this particular comment because all my life, I have always accepted that I have a big nose. (Okay, maybe not all my life, but at least before I left High School, I have already come to terms with my big nose which I got from my Lolo.) But to tell somebody pregnant that her nose is getting big is just insensitive. Our face changes as well as our hormones adjust to being pregnant, and it wouldn’t help to point out one particular change just because it’s obvious.

3. Siguro lalaki anak mo kasi pumapanget ka. Okay, number one, it’s not true that one’s having a baby boy if and when you suddenly turn ugly over the course of your pregnancy. THIS IS JUST A MYTH. Every pregnancy book I read said that it’s the other way around- that if a woman’s facial features change drastically it’s because she’s carrying a baby girl, who is supposedly taking all her mom’s beauty with her. BUT AGAIN THAT IS JUST ANOTHER MYTH. All throughout my pregnancy, I looked the same. And I was carrying a baby girl. (Except for the last few weeks when I couldn’t help but look swollen in every way.) I know of friends who carried baby boys and looked more fab than I was while I was pregnant. Basically, how you look depends on how you carry yourself. And it has NOTHING to do with what gender the baby growing inside of you will have.

4. Dapat manganak ka bago mag-full moon kasi pag hindi maitim anak mo. I heard this from my father and to this day, I don’t understand what the connection of the moon is with the complexion of a baby.

5. Kulang ka lang sa lakad kaya di ka nanganganak. Tell me that. Try walking with a 36 pound belly, with a human being inside you and tell me that again. I have walked hard as I could, as much as I could, despite the constant feeling of difficulty in my pelvis and yet my baby wouldn’t come down. Yes, walking helps but it doesn’t always work. We all have our own birthing story, so don’t insist yours on someone else.

6. Anong petsa na, di ka pa nanganganak? Baka may ngipin na yung anak mo paglabas! I heard so much of this the last few weeks. Believe me, YOU’RE NOT HELPING. I think only mothers who waited so long to deliver their child will understand how it feels to wait endlessly for the debut of someone who wouldn’t come in their estimated time and date of arrival. And to make such insensitive comments is downright irritating and only adds up to the pain and agony of waiting.

7. Di ka pa pala nanganganak? Obvious ba? That’s exactly what I said to the last person who made this comment to me earlier today. I guess I don’t have to explain in length why this particular comment is insensitive. Hence, this blog.

My (almost) 10 Months Pregnancy

It’s been 39 weeks and 2days, and I’m still very pregnant. My good friend and fellow Mom, Janeca, couldn’t be more right when she said that pregnancy is a test of patience and letting things happen as they are. Indeed, among other things, this whole journey of becoming a first time Mom has been about those two things- which to this day, I am still struggling to learn.

Didn’t they say you’re only pregnant for 9 MONTHS???

THE PROCESS

If you’ve been following my Facebook/ blog/ Instagram posts, you’d probably know by now that I’m carrying a miracle baby. Thanks to my polycystic ovary condition, getting pregnant wasn’t as easy breezy. It was a long time coming- one that did not come without hundreds of prayers, tons of hope and endless nights of frustration. But as in everything nice and beautiful in life, it came at just the right time- a time that was unexpected, if not, a time I thought would not almost come.

While I’ve always dreamed and wanted to become a Mom, no one is ever prepared for the journey to motherhood. Yes, not even me. When I finally confirmed I was indeed pregnant, and when the overwhelming emotions of joy and happiness that kicked in subsided in the next days and weeks- I realized how fearful I truly was of the coming days and weeks, while a miracle was about to grow inside of me. I knew it wouldn’t be easy, and I knew I had to be stronger than what I think I already am.

THE JOURNEY OF THE FIRST TRIMESTER

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Before I knew I was carrying this precious baby- my life was about traveling and doing my advocacy work religiously. In fact, the first month I was already pregnant (which I still wasn’t aware of), I traveled to Apo Reef in Mindoro, trekked the Banaue Rice Terraces, went up and down Baguio for three consecutive weeks for work, and flew to Batanes with the hubby where I insisted on a couple of jumpshots on the hills. Literally, I was having the time of my life. Advocacy wise, I busied myself planning a premiere night and a reading camp, aside from preparing more than a thousand labeled storybooks. If I didn’t notice my breasts were suddenly extra large- I wouldn’t have minded eating extra food on those days and spitting them out afterwards. I honestly thought I was just not used to eating too much anymore since I was on a strict diet before finding out I was to become a mother. And how did I find out the good news? One day, before Mother’s day, I decided to have a pregnancy test. And to my surprise, after years of waiting and countless negative PT kits- I saw two lines on the cheapest pregnanct test kit I ever bought. Yes, God finally heard us. And I was suddenly pregnant.

Workwise, I knew big changes came with the pleasant news of being pregnant. And since I am working as a Journalist- I also knew these big changes wouldn’t be as pleasant a news for me or for my working environment. Number one, I had to confine myself to desk work for almost a month since finding out I was pregnant, just to be sure both me and the baby are okay. For someone used to the hustle and bustle of the daily grind of finding and making news- the sudden shift wasn’t easy. I was BORED to death sitting in the office, taking notes from other reporters instead of being the one to send them to the office. I missed the action in my beat, especially since I took a sudden leave from doing field work at a time when a big PDAF story was happening in my territory. Those were the days the three senators implicated in the PDAF scam were being ordered arrested and detained- and there I was, watching things unfold on TV instead of being the one to report them in front of the TV.

But on the upside, if I didn’t spend a few weeks doing desk work, I could have had the worst of times in the field battling my severe morning sickness (which by the way wasn’t limited to the morning, but was more of an all day sickness for me), that got me running to and from the office bathroom most times of the day. I almost literally hugged the toilet more than I hugged my husband- that was how badly I had to endure my first pregnancy symptom. There were days I couldn’t complete my anchor stints on weekends because I would feel so bad after coming out of the restroom. There was even one time I was anchoring for Flash Report and while I was waiting to go on air, I suddenly had the urge to vomit and had to talk to my baby to allow me to do my job and let me vomit afterwards. She did listen, and boy did I pass out right after reading the news. For a first time mom, enduring an all day instead of just morning sickness was so much of a challenge for me. At first I couldn’t believe it can last for one whole day even if sometimes all you spit out is just saliva and no longer food, but turns out after reading pregnancy books and online accounts- I’m not the only one.

EASING INTO THE SECOND TRIMESTER

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If there’s a stage I love the most about this pregnancy, it would have to be hands down, the second trimester. It was on these months that I was finally able to return to field work, with my all day sickness suddenly gone one morning. I was back to my old self, running around resource persons, climbing up and down the stairs for stories. I worked like I wasn’t carrying a 20 pound belly, which by the way, I started to put on mostly in the second trimester too. Despite my growing bump, I still found it easy to do my day-to-day work then. But of course I also did self-impose certain limitations such as not working too hard so as not to tire myself too much, or declined doing coverages I felt weren’t appropriate or comfortable for me. I particularly refused covering rallies and stories outside of my 8-hr duty, but other than those, I covered everything even if at times I had to remind myself I’m pregnant and I couldn’t be superJournalist those days.

When it was time to go home, I went home and while I missed late nights at work, I knew there was a minimal price I had to pay for wanting a miracle such as this baby inside me is nothing compared to the joy of seeing her and holding her one day in my arms.

The upside of working on the field while pregnant was the care and attention I got from everyone, including my colleagues. I was blessed to have the most concerned and thoughtful beatmates at the Justice and Judiciary beats- who always looked after my welfare on those challenging months. Most of them adjusted to my moods, others adjusted to my weird sense of smell (I will never forget how Joel kept his garlic bread and stopped himself from eating it after seeing me run to the bathroom as soon as I smelled garlic in the press office, or how Rod would leave my side when I began complaining about the smell of his coffee). Much of the credit also goes to my ever reliable assistant cameraman, Rexson, who survived the worst attacks of my mood swings and bought me food each and every single day.

But it wasn’t all easy during the second trimester as I also had to battle with another pregnancy symptom- heartburn. There were a few days I had to leave earlier from work (days I had to go on half day duty), simply because I couldn’t breathe so well. I would also easily get tired and wanted to sit a lot in a more comfortable chair that supported my back, because of severe back pains which began on those months. Thank goodness, DOJ was kind enough to grant my request for a sofa. When I finally took a leave from field work again towards the latter part of the third trimester, reporters who relieved for me would text me about how “diva-ish” my seat at the DOJ was. Little did they know that beyond what meets the eye- that simple sofa provided me and my baby so much comfort when we both needed it so bad.

SURPASSING AND SURVIVING THE THIRD TRIMESTER

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When my tummy began to really show at around seven months, many advised me to stop working. Even my husband, who saw how much of a challenge it was for me to wake up on time for work and dress up sitting on the bed (since I could no longer do it standing up), wanted me to quit for the safety of myself and my baby. But I did not listen, instead, I pushed myself harder at work. I did News TV Live anchor stints almost every weekend. I would cover every ambush interview opportunity even if I had the choice to preview them in the camera and not be present physically while the interview was being done (just like what one reporter who’s not even pregnant, was doing every single day of her life). I would wait for hours on end for that soundbyte, waited for hours chasing lawyers who didn’t want to speak a word, and covered hearings on the top most floor of the DOJ building despite the difficulties of my numb hands and frequent leg cramps. One time, I almost forgot I was pregnant I walked down the stairs faster than the rest while chasing a lawyer for an interview- to which one cameraman exclaimed when the fury was over- “Naunahan pa tayo ng buntis!”. I wanted to be there as things happened, while I can.

Of course my efforts did not go to waste, because people were quite amazed at how I could have done it, working while pregnant. I guess their admiration also stems from the fact that I was carrying a really big belly- one that is big enough for someone like me (since I’m only 5 foot flat). But truth is, more than the accolades or compliments I got from people around, the most satisfaction I had was really from myself and from knowing that I tried my very best to deliver what is expected of me despite my physical limitations. I have always said, I only got pregnant and that did not make me a useless person.

But my biggest challenge throughout my pregnancy in terms of symptoms I had to endure, all happened in the third trimester. I suddenly had pregnancy gingivitis, severe leg cramps, carpal tunnel syndrome, and the threat of gestational diabetes. Name it (the pregnancy symptom), I had it. Luckily, I found ways to navigate thru them and survived. For my gingivitis, I only had to change my toothbrush and toothpaste; for the leg cramps and carpal tunnel syndrome I had warm compress and light massage, and for gestational diabetes I changed my diet and lost a few pounds.

GOING BEYOND NINE MONTHS

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After nine months or 36 weeks, I decided to take a leave from office work and went back to doing desk job so as to prepare myself for the coming baby. Little did I know that taking this much needed break would somehow slow down my progress, I have been frustratingly stuck at 1cm dilation since two weeks ago.

Now the challenge has gone from physical to emotional for me. Many would send me messages of comfort to just hang in there as the day is near, but really, nothing comforts me so much especially when I wake up everyday seeing that my tummy is still there and the crib beside me is empty. To say that I am frustrated would probably be an understatement, but truth is I really am. Maybe it’s because I wanted to be with my baby on Christmas and/ or New Year’s day- and both did not happen. Or maybe because I couldn’t believe that I would go this far in this pregnancy, despite working too hard and (almost) harrasing myself in the field. Or maybe because it’s hard to accept that the always first to beat the deadline me, am actually cramming to meet my deadline (my original due date) now. Whatever it is, it has been an emotional struggle for me and there are many days and nights I would bargain with God for the perfect time.

But as my good friend, Janeca said, pregnancy is a test of patience and of letting things happen. I surely understand that and what it means, but when you’re in my shoes- everything’s a blur. I guess I would only truly, perfectly understand and learn, once I hear my baby cry and hold her in my arms.

When that day will be, I hope and pray to come very soon. But definitely, I am certain that when it finally comes, I will forget that I have been pregnant for (almost) 10 months, and thank God everyday for the days and months He allowed me to be part of a miracle.

Till then, my dear, I’ll see you soon.

2014: The Year of Making Things Happen

I entered 2014 in complete surrender to the Lord for His plans to take over my life. But I also entered the past year with so much hope and armed with faith, that the best is yet to come. Boy, was I overwhelmingly surprised.

TRAVEL PLANS

In 2014, my husband and I were able to cross out a few of the places in our bucket list- such as snorkeling in Mindoro’s majestic Apo Reef, swam in the pristine waters of beautiful El Nido, saw up close the wonders of the Banaue Rice Terraces in Ifugao and enjoying the paradise that is Batanes. In a span of almost five months since 2014 began, we were here, there and everywhere enjoying ourselves as a couple. Those trips in the early part of 2014 bonded us much closer together too. While my husband and I don’t always have the smoothest of times together out of town (yes, we fight too on trips), there’s still no one else I’d take on any adventure with but with him. He calms me, puts me in my proper place and gives me the sense of it all when I’m too pre-occupied by the pettiness of small obstacles. 2014 will always be memorable in our travel diaries, because of so much good memories in those beautiful places we’ve been too together.

ADVOCACY WORK

Unlike previous years of doing DiksyonaryoAtbp, 2014 was quite uneventful in terms of the number of outreach projects done as they were very limited the past year. But that was intentional, as I entered 2014 looking at just two major outreach projects and a Summer Reading Camp in mind for DA. Luckily, we were able to pull off a successful outreach in Occidental Mindoro in partnership with Project Laging NaReian and were able to send help to Yolanda kid survivors in Leyte and Eastern Samar. But the biggest DA achievement I consider for 2014 was the jam packed Summer Reading Camp we organized in May. It was a first in so many ways for me personally, and for our advocacy, and it is something I’m planning to do again this year. While I chose to lay low in doing DA for the duration of my pregnancy, I am eternally grateful to each and every individual/ group who have extended help in their own little way to make all our 2014 plans a reality.

SURPRISE!

But I guess my biggest surprise for 2014 and that which truly defined my year, was the fact that I got pregnant. Indeed, many are our plans but only God knows the perfect time and why. My much awaited pregnancy came when we least expected it, probably that’s why it meant so much more to us than if it came early on when we were so eager for it to happen. I also believe God answered our prayer in His most perfect time- because the baby came when both Eder and I have completely adjusted to each other and learned the ropes in how to handle our young marriage. 2014 was definitely about Aiyah, and while the year ended with her still inside my tummy- I’m extremely grateful to the Lord for this blessing growing inside of me.

WHAT TO EXPECT IN 2015?

In my previous New Year blog for 2014, I began a tradition of writing down things I believe in for the new year instead of writing down things I want to have/ achieve/ do. As proven, when we no longer lay out our own plans, God’s plans take over and they prove to be so much better. So for 2015, I shall write the three things I believe to be true in my life this year:
1. God will never leave nor forsake me, my family and my child.
2. Trust in the Lord with all your heart, mind and soul and things will be alright.
3. It doesn’t matter if you’re doing it alone or with others, just do good for the sake of doing good.

Thank you 2014, you definitely made things happen for me and my family. May 2015 be as surprising, and even more. May you all have your heart’s desires this New Year.

And by the way, see you soon my dearest Aiyah.